Posts Tagged ‘Tofu’

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Grilled Smoked Paprika Tofu & Mexican Beautiful Katamari Balls

October 3, 2009

Day 1

I thought I would start this recipe off with an old story my white suburban mother would tell me growing up.

When the Romans entered Germany early in the 1980’s, each soldier only had a nickel to their name. Legend has it there were over 65,000 soldiers, they were all extremely malnourished, and starving. Being that none of them could eat on only a nickel, they decided to combine their fortunes, and feed everyone. They all made a circle formation in downtown Germany, and threw their nickels into the middle of the circle. The consensus was to take the nickels in bags to the closest butcher, and provide a great feast that’s tale would swim through the hills and valleys for all of time. The nickels only added up to feed about 40,000 of the troops, and the rest had to eat vegetables they found in the ground. Unfortunately, after the great feast (of all meat of course), all of their belly’s hurt, then they died. The 20,000 troops left, went onto win the war against the Germans, and became known as The Vegetarians. Now Vegan Mofo carries on the tradition, thousands of blogs, from all over the world, tossing in their….nickl….blogs and such. All in a belief that if we combine our powers, we can defeat the meat-eaters, and maybe one day stop explaining where we get protein from.

Throughout the day I was trying to think of what I wanted to make for Vegan MoFo day 1. I was really in the mood for Mexican, so I started there. I really like shapes, and pieces fitting in with other pieces. These pictures didn’t end up doing great justice, and the concept kind of got hidden and underexposed. None the less, it worked, and that was my main concern.

My idea was to take a lot of elements of mexican food that I love, and put them in a ball.  Kinda like the Katamari game.  Then to lay that ball in a layer of grilled tofu, and top it with a sauce.

For the Tofu :


First I carved half moons into the tofu with a melon scooper. Next I tossed the tofu in a container with some olive oil and apple cider vinegar. I blended Smoked paprika (a lot), garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper in a mortar, and used it as a rub on the tofu. It sticks pretty well with the olive oil. They were placed on the grill for about 7 minutes on each side (spray the grill first with some grill oil spray), and laidon a bed of red lettuce.

For the Balls :


  • can of corn
  • 2 15oz cans of re-fried beans
  • small can of minced black olives,
  • mexican rice
  • tortilla chips (ground)

In a pretty big pan, pour in some olive oil, and some diced onions and corn. I let that cook for a while, brown it a little. In a separate pot, I made some Mexican rice (takes about 20 minutes for the rice, so maybe do that early on). After the rice, and the corn are cooked, pour the rice into the pan with the corn, and add a couple of cans of re-fried beans, and a can of finely diced black olives. Let everything cook for a little while, and add some garlic, salt and pepper too. Add some bread crumbs to thicken everything up, they will stay together better in the fryer. After its done, take it out, and put it in the fridge (or the freezer if you’re in a rush). Next make up the breading for the balls. To stick with the Mexican theme, I ground some tortilla chips in the mortar, very fine. After every things cooled off, roll the (corn, beans, rice etc.) concoction into balls the size of the half moons in the tofu. Next roll the balls around in the tortilla crumbs. Toss them in a deep fryer for about 2 minutes. I then placed them in the tofu, added some of my dads home made pico, (roma tomatoes, onions, garlic, jalepeno, cilantro, and salt) smashed avocado, and diced chili’s. I topped it with a Chili dill sour cream. Which consisted of tofuti sour cream, ancho chili powder, garlic powder, soy sauce, tons of fresh dill, salt and pepper. Yummy success! These balls were divine! (no homo)

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Vegan Sausage McMuffin’s

February 28, 2009

As I was laying in bed, I heard a drum beat.  That beat was from Karate Kid 2, the sticks they spin in between their hands, and make old hip hop drums.  I looked over at my lover, and she lay asleep.  Listening to tranquil sound of Daniel son getting his ass kicked.  I was hungry.  I knew she would share the sensation.  It was 11am, and I wanted to make her breakfast.  I hate breakfast food.  I love her though.  But I wanted her to experience a breakfast.  Lord why have you laid such a burden on me!  Why do you toy with me?!  Then it hit me.  I must make the first McMuffin with my new cookie cutters.  The plan is dangerous, but I believe I will be the first.  I’m too fragile to google it, so I decided to assume I am the first.  I will cut tofu with a large circle, and cut a smaller circle inside.  I will cook them separate, and the middle shall be cooked in turmeric.  It will look amazing.  I could only find faux sausage.  My heart was set on some fake ham, but I was not so fortunate.  I cooked the fake sausage in garlic powder, onion powder, salt & pepper, and veg Worcestershire.  I then laid some toffuti cheddar cheese squares over them.  The English muffins were toasted and buttered, and the creation was complete with some hash browns.  *Que “you’re the best around”

Kind of hard to see the “yolk” effect, but the lighting was a little bad.

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How can I love you, if you wont lie down?

February 26, 2009

Boy oh boy, having a real job really makes life dull.  Although my job is probably the only one that exists in the nine to five world that I could ever imagine going to bed at midnight for.  Everythings felt very scattered and fast for the past month, and I’m just now starting to feel like myself again.  Well not the old self that could stay up drinking until 5am, and get on the post punk kitchen to post drunk naked pictures of myself, but familiar none the less.  We haven’t really made anything that amazing, but Sarah made these incredible cupcakes.  This was her first successful vegan baking, and it turned a lot of heads at the party.

Here’s our three legged dog tofu,  playing xbox while were cooking.

This is a dinner we made one night that was simple but good.  Fake bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, smoked tofu (not the dog), and veganaise.

This is a lil thing i threw together that involves filo, vegan cream cheese, a basil leaf (next time ill use a spinach leaf), smoked tofu, and sriracha.

and last, we had a bunch of people over the other night and made a ton of vegan sliders.  The recipe for the burger is from Vegan dad.  Everyone ate the shit out of these.

Stay tuned, I’ve got some contests coming up where you guys can win things!  I plan on starting a weekly thing starting in march, where I will be giving away very cool stuff for free!

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Black Bean & Garlic Stir Fry w/ Edamame Dip *Day 4*

January 29, 2009

day-4-copy

Total cost about $15

Yo yo, it’s day 4, get your ass on the floor, and…..dry hump…the girl next to you…Sorry, my freestyles these days are a bit exhausted.  Were completely snowed in, power is out in 200,000 houses, we’ve got guests sleeping over, and thank Jesus we still have power.  We decided to make stir-fry tonight, with some mock duck I got for Christmas from my mom.  We laid out a bunch of vegetables, and sauces, noodles, and rice.  Sarah took everyone’s orders like we were in a restaurant.  It was quite endearing.  (quick side note, today’s picture for the vegan amateur porn is the best one I’ve found.  Check out the dudes faces, they look like they all work the prize counter at a 1986 roller rink.)  All together we had :

  • tomatoes
  • chives
  • red onions
  • shitake, portabella, cremini mushroom
  • red and green peppers
  • green & yellow beans
  • broccoli
  • garlic
  • ginger
  • black bean sauce
  • chili garlic sauce
  • soy sauce
  • mock duck & tofu marinated in soy sauce/alegro/ginger/Cayenne pepper/and some water
  • sesame and canola oil

Everything was tossed in a Wok, and cooked together with sesame and canola oil.  I used extra black bean sauce, and boiled the mock duck first to get the canned taste out of it.  The tofu and mock duck was pan seared first.  This stir-fry was so good, I wouldn’t even wear a condom with it.  The entire apartment was filled with an amazing smell, and life tonight was good.

The edamame dip was very much like hummus.  I took the recipe from food networks website. We then dipped carrots in it all night, singing “Kentucky rose” by Michael W. Smith.

Total cost about $5

  • 12 ounces shelled, cooked, and cooled edamame, about 2 cups, recipe follows
  • 1/4 cup diced onion
  • 1/2 cup tightly packed fresh cilantro or parsley leaves
  • 1 large garlic clove, sliced
  • 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime or lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon brown miso
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon red chili paste
  • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 5 tablespoons olive oil

Place everything in your food processor, and blend until smooth.  Garnish with smoked paprika and cilantro.

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I like big stacks and I cannot lie….

January 13, 2009

Ive been wanting to make something in a stack form for a while. I always see them in magazines I read, they always look really cool. This is a bed of spinach and pine nuts cooked in garlic, some olive oil, and bragg. The stack starts at the bottom with mustard broccoli mashed potatoes. On top of that is smoked, and pan seared tofu. The onions were sauteed in some vegan butter, garlic, and balsamic vinegar. Next is just a pan seared tomato in olive oil, with salt and pepper. A slice of avocado on the top, and a cumin sour cream on top (my dads idea) The cumin sauce is just some vegan sour cream, with a couple drips of thousand island, bragg, mustard, garlic and lime juice. Add some salt and pepper to taste. Then the green beans were just cooked in some olive oil, soy sauce, garlic, and some salt and pepper.

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Thankyou for smoking….

December 30, 2008

As you will see on this blog, i am a frequent visitor of the what the hell does a vegan eat anyway? blog.  They’re always smoking stuff like its going out of style, so i went out and bought a smoker. Luckily i was able to find one locally, but i really had to look hard. I went to bed bath and beyond, target, sears, meijer, etc. I even covered my face with a newspaper and went into wal-mart looking for one. Eventually i stumbled on this little place here in Louisville called The Gourmet Cottage, and its a must visit if you’re in or around Louisville. I bought the smoker for $40 and bought 3 small bags of wood chips (hickory, mesquite, and black cherry). In the end my favorite was mesquite. Let me just tell everyone, you need a smoker. Oh no your saying, i’m cool without one, I know how to cook tofu properly and i snort nutritional yeast. Well guess what, your not. You need this item. Heres the same one i bought on amazon for $39.00. (link)

Ive smoked Zucchini, seitan and tofu so far, and this blog is about the tofu (all were very good though). Ive gotten to the point, where i only want tofu like this. I mean, im so crazy and filthy, i eat tofu raw, and i still will. Sometime i dip it in soy sauce, sometimes i dip it in hot sauce, so what! Dont judgeish me! The smoked way is by far the best though, no doubt about it. I came up with this recipe while at work, and made it for a going away party.

Smoked tofu appetizer

Smoked Tofu h’orderves

1 Block of extra firm tofu

2 red peppers

1 jar of capers

1 tbls of smoked paprika

3 cloves of garlic

2 cups of hummus

1/4 cup of soy sauce

4 chives

1 tbls of olive oil

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First get the tofu cut and ready for the smoker, thats the longest part of this process. cut the tofu about a 1/4 inch thick or so, maybe a little less, i usually cut it just a little thinner than that. Keep in mind in the end you will be cutting it into squares (after you smoke it) and no one likes to bite into thick tofu. Ready the smoker, i pour red wine on the wood chips instead of water. After the smoker is assembled, put a thing of foil over the grill part, so the tofu doesnt fall through. Start the burner, and let it smoke for about 20 minutes, flip it, and smoke it for another 20 minutes. While thats smoking, get your red pepper out, and wash it, gut it, slice it into squares about the size of checker board squares. Take a spoon and lay a descent spread of hummus on each of the squares, let those sit and wait for the tofu to finish. When the tofu is done, cut it into squares about the same size as the red peppers. Coat a pan with a litle bit of olive oil and after it warms up lay the garlic and tofu in. I usually let the tofu crisp up a little bit and flip it. Pour the soysauce in, and let it cook for a bit, until all of the soy sauce is soaked in. When its done, lay the tofu over the hummus on the red pepper, and top the tofu with another layer of hummus. Put about 3 capers and 2 chives into the top layer of hummus, and sprinkle the smoked paprika over them. Place some cute little toothpicks in them, or some little ferries, or maybe even some little baseball bats for the sport lovers! Goodnight, and good pot-luck.

-Stanley