Posts Tagged ‘lettuce’

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Grilled Smoked Paprika Tofu & Mexican Beautiful Katamari Balls

October 3, 2009

Day 1

I thought I would start this recipe off with an old story my white suburban mother would tell me growing up.

When the Romans entered Germany early in the 1980’s, each soldier only had a nickel to their name. Legend has it there were over 65,000 soldiers, they were all extremely malnourished, and starving. Being that none of them could eat on only a nickel, they decided to combine their fortunes, and feed everyone. They all made a circle formation in downtown Germany, and threw their nickels into the middle of the circle. The consensus was to take the nickels in bags to the closest butcher, and provide a great feast that’s tale would swim through the hills and valleys for all of time. The nickels only added up to feed about 40,000 of the troops, and the rest had to eat vegetables they found in the ground. Unfortunately, after the great feast (of all meat of course), all of their belly’s hurt, then they died. The 20,000 troops left, went onto win the war against the Germans, and became known as The Vegetarians. Now Vegan Mofo carries on the tradition, thousands of blogs, from all over the world, tossing in their….nickl….blogs and such. All in a belief that if we combine our powers, we can defeat the meat-eaters, and maybe one day stop explaining where we get protein from.

Throughout the day I was trying to think of what I wanted to make for Vegan MoFo day 1. I was really in the mood for Mexican, so I started there. I really like shapes, and pieces fitting in with other pieces. These pictures didn’t end up doing great justice, and the concept kind of got hidden and underexposed. None the less, it worked, and that was my main concern.

My idea was to take a lot of elements of mexican food that I love, and put them in a ball.  Kinda like the Katamari game.  Then to lay that ball in a layer of grilled tofu, and top it with a sauce.

For the Tofu :


First I carved half moons into the tofu with a melon scooper. Next I tossed the tofu in a container with some olive oil and apple cider vinegar. I blended Smoked paprika (a lot), garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, chili powder, salt and pepper in a mortar, and used it as a rub on the tofu. It sticks pretty well with the olive oil. They were placed on the grill for about 7 minutes on each side (spray the grill first with some grill oil spray), and laidon a bed of red lettuce.

For the Balls :


  • can of corn
  • 2 15oz cans of re-fried beans
  • small can of minced black olives,
  • mexican rice
  • tortilla chips (ground)

In a pretty big pan, pour in some olive oil, and some diced onions and corn. I let that cook for a while, brown it a little. In a separate pot, I made some Mexican rice (takes about 20 minutes for the rice, so maybe do that early on). After the rice, and the corn are cooked, pour the rice into the pan with the corn, and add a couple of cans of re-fried beans, and a can of finely diced black olives. Let everything cook for a little while, and add some garlic, salt and pepper too. Add some bread crumbs to thicken everything up, they will stay together better in the fryer. After its done, take it out, and put it in the fridge (or the freezer if you’re in a rush). Next make up the breading for the balls. To stick with the Mexican theme, I ground some tortilla chips in the mortar, very fine. After every things cooled off, roll the (corn, beans, rice etc.) concoction into balls the size of the half moons in the tofu. Next roll the balls around in the tortilla crumbs. Toss them in a deep fryer for about 2 minutes. I then placed them in the tofu, added some of my dads home made pico, (roma tomatoes, onions, garlic, jalepeno, cilantro, and salt) smashed avocado, and diced chili’s. I topped it with a Chili dill sour cream. Which consisted of tofuti sour cream, ancho chili powder, garlic powder, soy sauce, tons of fresh dill, salt and pepper. Yummy success! These balls were divine! (no homo)

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How can I love you, if you wont lie down?

February 26, 2009

Boy oh boy, having a real job really makes life dull.  Although my job is probably the only one that exists in the nine to five world that I could ever imagine going to bed at midnight for.  Everythings felt very scattered and fast for the past month, and I’m just now starting to feel like myself again.  Well not the old self that could stay up drinking until 5am, and get on the post punk kitchen to post drunk naked pictures of myself, but familiar none the less.  We haven’t really made anything that amazing, but Sarah made these incredible cupcakes.  This was her first successful vegan baking, and it turned a lot of heads at the party.

Here’s our three legged dog tofu,  playing xbox while were cooking.

This is a dinner we made one night that was simple but good.  Fake bacon, lettuce, tomatoes, smoked tofu (not the dog), and veganaise.

This is a lil thing i threw together that involves filo, vegan cream cheese, a basil leaf (next time ill use a spinach leaf), smoked tofu, and sriracha.

and last, we had a bunch of people over the other night and made a ton of vegan sliders.  The recipe for the burger is from Vegan dad.  Everyone ate the shit out of these.

Stay tuned, I’ve got some contests coming up where you guys can win things!  I plan on starting a weekly thing starting in march, where I will be giving away very cool stuff for free!

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Yes We (mexi)Can! *Day 2*

January 27, 2009

day-2-copy

Total cost about $10

Day two of F.A.F.P.F., and things are getting really crazy around here.  We’re trying to cover a lot of bases,while being extremely generic, and of course, cheap.  When I used to live in Hawaii, a friend of my brothers named Phillip would come over to eat sometimes.  He was pretty much the most annoying kid ever made, but made a nice punching bag for a bunch of 9 year olds.  He was extremely white, had these huge thick glasses, and olive oil hair.  One night when he was coming over he was telling us which Mexican food he liked.  He was attempting to talk in his most authentic Mexican accent.  Saying things like, “i love tooohstaadas, and enchillaaaadas, and taaccoos (pronounced ta-hoes).  From that point on, every time we ate Mexican (he pronounced it mehhee-can), it was right to the Phillip impersonations, and I’m proud to say I still do.  Nothing like a little laugh at someone else’s expense.

The rice was made from 1 1/2 cups of white rice, chopped roma tomatoes, chopped bell peppers, garlic, cumin, ancho chili powder, chipotle sauce, tomato sauce, and salt to taste.  The tostadas had re-fried beans at the bottom, FYH cheese, tvp (seasoned mehhee-can style), lettuce, and tomatoes.  They were fried on a stove top skillet, in some olive oil.  On top was chipotle a sour cream, (vegan sour cream, chipotle sauce, drop of alegro, garlic powder, salt, ancho chili powder, nutritional yeast, and lime juice) and some salsa.  Also on the side is just some re-fried beans with lettuce and tomatoes.

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“I can be your Gyro baby…..”

January 6, 2009

If you live in Louisville, and you spend time in the highlands, you know the amount of Mediterranean restaurants is borderline silly. Within a 5 mile radius, there is Pita Hut, Shiraz, Falafel House, Zaytun, Pita Delights, Omar’s Gyros, and Grape Leaf. There very well could be more, but these are all ones that i can walk to from Sarah’s house. When my dad was in town, we went to eat at Falafel House, its really cheap, and pretty good. Either way, everyone at the table got gyros, and they looked really delicious. Minus the whole meat thing, i love the idea of a gyro. Crispy lettuce, tomato’s, hummus, onions, cucumbers, pita bread, tzatziki sauce, and a little visit from my little friend seitan. I got together a couple of recipes from offline, combined them, and switched them up a bit.

Vegan Gyro :

The obvious things you need :

Boston red lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, onions and some pita bread.

Faux Lamb recipe (taken from vegsource.com)

4 cups vital wheat gluten flour
1/2 cup whitewheat flour (or regular whole wheat flour)
1/4 cup unbleached white flour
1/4 cup soy flour
1/2 cup Minute tapioca
1 Tbs nutritional yeast
2 tsps “chicken” bouillon powder
2 Tbs “beef” bouillon powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp dried parsley
3 & 1/4 cups cold water
1 Tbs low-sodium soy sauce

In a bowl, mix all dry ingredients.
In another bowl, mix water and soy sauce,
Add all at once to the dry ingredients.
Mix quickly, and knead for a few minutes.
Shape into two rolls.
Cook now, or wrap and freeze for later cooking,
or cook one now, and freeze the other for later cooking.


Cooking Broth

8 cups water
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1 tsp Kitchen Bouquet
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1 onion, peeled and sliced
2 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced
2 tsps “chicken” bouillon powder
2 Tbs “beef” bouillon powder
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp dried parsley
1 tsp sugar

Into a large stewpot, put all cooking broth ingredients.
Bring to a boil, and cook 5 minutes, stirring often.
Add 1 seitan roll, and bring to boil again.
IMMEDIATELY turn heat to medium-low.
Partially-cover, and simmer for 1 – 2 hours.
Do not let broth boil again, or seitan will be tough or doughy.
Remove “pot roast” from broth.
Slice “pot roast”.
Saute` in oil or margarine until browned, and serve.
Store any unfried or leftover fried “roast” in the cooking broth, in fridge.
Use cooking broth for making sauces and gravies.

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We didn’t use the fake chicken broth, being that we didn’t have any, but we did come across some really good fake beef broth. We used that, vegetable broth, and mushroom broth. Also i strongly recommend that “kitchen bouquet” stuff. It’s vegan, and it actually made a big difference in the final result of the seitan.

After the seitan’s done, slice it thin, and fry it in some oil and add some Cavender’s greek seasoning if you can find it. Don’t be startled by the creepy

chef on the front. As alarming as his child abducting mustache is, and the size of what appears to be something only served in Bedrock, its actually very tasty. It’s really salty, so just put a small amount on, and add more if you want more.

The picture was taken on a plate that looked like it was descending from heaven, so i thought it only be right to take it in photoshop and add a little blur around the plate.

I got the Tzatziki recipe from tofu-and-sprouts blog, which turned out awesome, i may have eaten it with a spoon. We didnt use tofu, or tofutti sour cream, we just used 1 cup of vegan fat free mayonnaise. We also had no mint, so we just didnt use it. Although i think it would have worked really well with it. Oh and also Maui onions were $8 for 3, so we threw them at the guy that worked in produce and yelled “oh bullshit!”. We just ended up using a yellow onion.

Has anyone ever eaten at a restaurant and had hummus that was really creamy, like peanut butter texture? I’ve been looking for a recipe for this for some time, and actually just stumbled onto it, on accident. A recipe I used a while ago, called for garbonzo bean flour, and there was a recipe on the back for hummus. The flour is really cheap, and it goes a really long way.

Creamy Hummus :

1 cup garbanzo flour

1 1/2 cup water, cold

4 tablespoon lemon juice

4 tablespoon sesame tahini

3/4 teaspoon sea salt, optional

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder, or 1 garlic clove, pressed

2 tablespoon olive oil

In a saucepan stir garbanzo flour into the cold water until smooth. Heat mixture until bubbly, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Add lemon juice, tahini, garlic and salt if used. Mix well; cool. If mixture appears to be too thick, add more water before serving. Pour oil over hummus, or stir into the mixture.

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Take the flat bread, and put it in the oven to broil for a few minutes, until it gets warm, and fluffy (that sounds really dirty). Spread the hummus over the bread thinly, and lay the seitan down on half of the bread, and the lettuce, tomatos, some chopped cucumber and onions, and Tzatziki sauce on the other half. Push it together, shove it in your face, and with a mouth full sing at the top of your lungs, “I can be your gyro baby, i can kiss away the pain!”. Wipe your face with your sleeve, and stare at the closest person to you. Walk backwards out of the room, and don’t take your eyes off of them.