Posts Tagged ‘Hummus’

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Black Bean & Garlic Stir Fry w/ Edamame Dip *Day 4*

January 29, 2009

day-4-copy

Total cost about $15

Yo yo, it’s day 4, get your ass on the floor, and…..dry hump…the girl next to you…Sorry, my freestyles these days are a bit exhausted.  Were completely snowed in, power is out in 200,000 houses, we’ve got guests sleeping over, and thank Jesus we still have power.  We decided to make stir-fry tonight, with some mock duck I got for Christmas from my mom.  We laid out a bunch of vegetables, and sauces, noodles, and rice.  Sarah took everyone’s orders like we were in a restaurant.  It was quite endearing.  (quick side note, today’s picture for the vegan amateur porn is the best one I’ve found.  Check out the dudes faces, they look like they all work the prize counter at a 1986 roller rink.)  All together we had :

  • tomatoes
  • chives
  • red onions
  • shitake, portabella, cremini mushroom
  • red and green peppers
  • green & yellow beans
  • broccoli
  • garlic
  • ginger
  • black bean sauce
  • chili garlic sauce
  • soy sauce
  • mock duck & tofu marinated in soy sauce/alegro/ginger/Cayenne pepper/and some water
  • sesame and canola oil

Everything was tossed in a Wok, and cooked together with sesame and canola oil.  I used extra black bean sauce, and boiled the mock duck first to get the canned taste out of it.  The tofu and mock duck was pan seared first.  This stir-fry was so good, I wouldn’t even wear a condom with it.  The entire apartment was filled with an amazing smell, and life tonight was good.

The edamame dip was very much like hummus.  I took the recipe from food networks website. We then dipped carrots in it all night, singing “Kentucky rose” by Michael W. Smith.

Total cost about $5

  • 12 ounces shelled, cooked, and cooled edamame, about 2 cups, recipe follows
  • 1/4 cup diced onion
  • 1/2 cup tightly packed fresh cilantro or parsley leaves
  • 1 large garlic clove, sliced
  • 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime or lemon juice
  • 1 tablespoon brown miso
  • 1 teaspoon kosher salt
  • 1 teaspoon red chili paste
  • 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
  • 5 tablespoons olive oil

Place everything in your food processor, and blend until smooth.  Garnish with smoked paprika and cilantro.

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“I can be your Gyro baby…..”

January 6, 2009

If you live in Louisville, and you spend time in the highlands, you know the amount of Mediterranean restaurants is borderline silly. Within a 5 mile radius, there is Pita Hut, Shiraz, Falafel House, Zaytun, Pita Delights, Omar’s Gyros, and Grape Leaf. There very well could be more, but these are all ones that i can walk to from Sarah’s house. When my dad was in town, we went to eat at Falafel House, its really cheap, and pretty good. Either way, everyone at the table got gyros, and they looked really delicious. Minus the whole meat thing, i love the idea of a gyro. Crispy lettuce, tomato’s, hummus, onions, cucumbers, pita bread, tzatziki sauce, and a little visit from my little friend seitan. I got together a couple of recipes from offline, combined them, and switched them up a bit.

Vegan Gyro :

The obvious things you need :

Boston red lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber, onions and some pita bread.

Faux Lamb recipe (taken from vegsource.com)

4 cups vital wheat gluten flour
1/2 cup whitewheat flour (or regular whole wheat flour)
1/4 cup unbleached white flour
1/4 cup soy flour
1/2 cup Minute tapioca
1 Tbs nutritional yeast
2 tsps “chicken” bouillon powder
2 Tbs “beef” bouillon powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp dried parsley
3 & 1/4 cups cold water
1 Tbs low-sodium soy sauce

In a bowl, mix all dry ingredients.
In another bowl, mix water and soy sauce,
Add all at once to the dry ingredients.
Mix quickly, and knead for a few minutes.
Shape into two rolls.
Cook now, or wrap and freeze for later cooking,
or cook one now, and freeze the other for later cooking.


Cooking Broth

8 cups water
1/4 cup low-sodium soy sauce
1 tsp Kitchen Bouquet
1/4 cup nutritional yeast
1 onion, peeled and sliced
2 cloves garlic, peeled and sliced
2 tsps “chicken” bouillon powder
2 Tbs “beef” bouillon powder
1 tsp rosemary
1 tsp dried parsley
1 tsp sugar

Into a large stewpot, put all cooking broth ingredients.
Bring to a boil, and cook 5 minutes, stirring often.
Add 1 seitan roll, and bring to boil again.
IMMEDIATELY turn heat to medium-low.
Partially-cover, and simmer for 1 – 2 hours.
Do not let broth boil again, or seitan will be tough or doughy.
Remove “pot roast” from broth.
Slice “pot roast”.
Saute` in oil or margarine until browned, and serve.
Store any unfried or leftover fried “roast” in the cooking broth, in fridge.
Use cooking broth for making sauces and gravies.

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We didn’t use the fake chicken broth, being that we didn’t have any, but we did come across some really good fake beef broth. We used that, vegetable broth, and mushroom broth. Also i strongly recommend that “kitchen bouquet” stuff. It’s vegan, and it actually made a big difference in the final result of the seitan.

After the seitan’s done, slice it thin, and fry it in some oil and add some Cavender’s greek seasoning if you can find it. Don’t be startled by the creepy

chef on the front. As alarming as his child abducting mustache is, and the size of what appears to be something only served in Bedrock, its actually very tasty. It’s really salty, so just put a small amount on, and add more if you want more.

The picture was taken on a plate that looked like it was descending from heaven, so i thought it only be right to take it in photoshop and add a little blur around the plate.

I got the Tzatziki recipe from tofu-and-sprouts blog, which turned out awesome, i may have eaten it with a spoon. We didnt use tofu, or tofutti sour cream, we just used 1 cup of vegan fat free mayonnaise. We also had no mint, so we just didnt use it. Although i think it would have worked really well with it. Oh and also Maui onions were $8 for 3, so we threw them at the guy that worked in produce and yelled “oh bullshit!”. We just ended up using a yellow onion.

Has anyone ever eaten at a restaurant and had hummus that was really creamy, like peanut butter texture? I’ve been looking for a recipe for this for some time, and actually just stumbled onto it, on accident. A recipe I used a while ago, called for garbonzo bean flour, and there was a recipe on the back for hummus. The flour is really cheap, and it goes a really long way.

Creamy Hummus :

1 cup garbanzo flour

1 1/2 cup water, cold

4 tablespoon lemon juice

4 tablespoon sesame tahini

3/4 teaspoon sea salt, optional

1/4 teaspoon garlic powder, or 1 garlic clove, pressed

2 tablespoon olive oil

In a saucepan stir garbanzo flour into the cold water until smooth. Heat mixture until bubbly, stirring constantly. Remove from heat. Add lemon juice, tahini, garlic and salt if used. Mix well; cool. If mixture appears to be too thick, add more water before serving. Pour oil over hummus, or stir into the mixture.

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Take the flat bread, and put it in the oven to broil for a few minutes, until it gets warm, and fluffy (that sounds really dirty). Spread the hummus over the bread thinly, and lay the seitan down on half of the bread, and the lettuce, tomatos, some chopped cucumber and onions, and Tzatziki sauce on the other half. Push it together, shove it in your face, and with a mouth full sing at the top of your lungs, “I can be your gyro baby, i can kiss away the pain!”. Wipe your face with your sleeve, and stare at the closest person to you. Walk backwards out of the room, and don’t take your eyes off of them.

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Thankyou for smoking….

December 30, 2008

As you will see on this blog, i am a frequent visitor of the what the hell does a vegan eat anyway? blog.  They’re always smoking stuff like its going out of style, so i went out and bought a smoker. Luckily i was able to find one locally, but i really had to look hard. I went to bed bath and beyond, target, sears, meijer, etc. I even covered my face with a newspaper and went into wal-mart looking for one. Eventually i stumbled on this little place here in Louisville called The Gourmet Cottage, and its a must visit if you’re in or around Louisville. I bought the smoker for $40 and bought 3 small bags of wood chips (hickory, mesquite, and black cherry). In the end my favorite was mesquite. Let me just tell everyone, you need a smoker. Oh no your saying, i’m cool without one, I know how to cook tofu properly and i snort nutritional yeast. Well guess what, your not. You need this item. Heres the same one i bought on amazon for $39.00. (link)

Ive smoked Zucchini, seitan and tofu so far, and this blog is about the tofu (all were very good though). Ive gotten to the point, where i only want tofu like this. I mean, im so crazy and filthy, i eat tofu raw, and i still will. Sometime i dip it in soy sauce, sometimes i dip it in hot sauce, so what! Dont judgeish me! The smoked way is by far the best though, no doubt about it. I came up with this recipe while at work, and made it for a going away party.

Smoked tofu appetizer

Smoked Tofu h’orderves

1 Block of extra firm tofu

2 red peppers

1 jar of capers

1 tbls of smoked paprika

3 cloves of garlic

2 cups of hummus

1/4 cup of soy sauce

4 chives

1 tbls of olive oil

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First get the tofu cut and ready for the smoker, thats the longest part of this process. cut the tofu about a 1/4 inch thick or so, maybe a little less, i usually cut it just a little thinner than that. Keep in mind in the end you will be cutting it into squares (after you smoke it) and no one likes to bite into thick tofu. Ready the smoker, i pour red wine on the wood chips instead of water. After the smoker is assembled, put a thing of foil over the grill part, so the tofu doesnt fall through. Start the burner, and let it smoke for about 20 minutes, flip it, and smoke it for another 20 minutes. While thats smoking, get your red pepper out, and wash it, gut it, slice it into squares about the size of checker board squares. Take a spoon and lay a descent spread of hummus on each of the squares, let those sit and wait for the tofu to finish. When the tofu is done, cut it into squares about the same size as the red peppers. Coat a pan with a litle bit of olive oil and after it warms up lay the garlic and tofu in. I usually let the tofu crisp up a little bit and flip it. Pour the soysauce in, and let it cook for a bit, until all of the soy sauce is soaked in. When its done, lay the tofu over the hummus on the red pepper, and top the tofu with another layer of hummus. Put about 3 capers and 2 chives into the top layer of hummus, and sprinkle the smoked paprika over them. Place some cute little toothpicks in them, or some little ferries, or maybe even some little baseball bats for the sport lovers! Goodnight, and good pot-luck.

-Stanley