Posts Tagged ‘fake cheese’

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Vegan Sausage McMuffin’s

February 28, 2009

As I was laying in bed, I heard a drum beat.  That beat was from Karate Kid 2, the sticks they spin in between their hands, and make old hip hop drums.  I looked over at my lover, and she lay asleep.  Listening to tranquil sound of Daniel son getting his ass kicked.  I was hungry.  I knew she would share the sensation.  It was 11am, and I wanted to make her breakfast.  I hate breakfast food.  I love her though.  But I wanted her to experience a breakfast.  Lord why have you laid such a burden on me!  Why do you toy with me?!  Then it hit me.  I must make the first McMuffin with my new cookie cutters.  The plan is dangerous, but I believe I will be the first.  I’m too fragile to google it, so I decided to assume I am the first.  I will cut tofu with a large circle, and cut a smaller circle inside.  I will cook them separate, and the middle shall be cooked in turmeric.  It will look amazing.  I could only find faux sausage.  My heart was set on some fake ham, but I was not so fortunate.  I cooked the fake sausage in garlic powder, onion powder, salt & pepper, and veg Worcestershire.  I then laid some toffuti cheddar cheese squares over them.  The English muffins were toasted and buttered, and the creation was complete with some hash browns.  *Que “you’re the best around”

Kind of hard to see the “yolk” effect, but the lighting was a little bad.

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Fancy schmancy Vegan Macaroni and “Cheese”

January 14, 2009

I’ve always been very attracted to macaroni and cheese. It’s really fattening, and delicious. Macaroni and cheese has always been to me, like that gross girl you banged in college, and you never told your friends about. I know what you’re saying, “awwww, that poor macaroni and cheese! You’re such a typical male chauvinist faux pig! “. Okay, okay, maybe you’re right, but it’s a good analogy and you know it. Growing up, we added hotdogs, and maybe even sometimes, some salt and pepper. Being that I’m now awesome, I have decided to make my own, gourmet style.

I searched around the google for a very short time, and found 3 recipes that gave me a little vegan boner. First, I was on the “food porn” section of the Veggieboards forum. After having a few pretentious lol’s at what people considered “food porn” (i.e. microwavable amy’s vegetarian in a box meals((literally)), I found an awesome vegan macaroni and cheese dish. It’s a bit bland, but none the less, very delicious looking. I then dug deeper. Cause I’m an investigator.  I don’t just settle for the bullshit. I’m into it. Sorry, that came out wrong. I wanted something to show that I’m way more hip, and don’t need to live in Brooklyn to have a vegan blog. I next found a recipe for macaroni and cheese that had morels and lobster in it. Then I found one that put sweet potatoes in it. I nearly shit myself with  ideas. I replaced the lobster with sun dried tomatoes, and used soy creamer, instead of soy milk. Capers anyone? Hell yeah, I did. Sauteed the sun dried tomatoes and morels in some vegan butter with garlic, and caramelized the sweet potatoes into little squares. Baked it at 350 degrees for 15 minutes, and made out with my girlfriend for 9 minutes while waiting. This is the best macaroni and cheese you will ever have. “oh, i add tvp to my mac & cheeze”. Shut up pervert. Make this, and stop watching real chance at love.