Seitan greasy highway burger….

January 16, 2009

For some reason no matter what, everytime I post something up that looks a lot like meat, I get a ton of emails and comments. They usualy go a little something like this. “Man, i couldnt eat that, that looks too real.” There seems to be a lot of people that are vegan, that really get what we call “annoying”. I get it, you’re so vegan, that not only did you make a personal decision to not eat meat, but you’ve also made a personal decision to be annoying. You know how I know that you made that personal decision? Because you have to tell me, and the world, that its too real for you to eat. Nobody goes on blogs and says things like, “sorry that corn on the cob looks way to much like a penis for me to eat.” You know why? Because really, who gives a shit. I’m actually not a huge fan of fake meats, being that I really actually crave vegetables most of the time, but from time to time, I think it’s great. Now if you don’t like the way they taste, thats one thing, but if you just wan’t to tell me how you can’t get past the fact that it looks like meat, (in sarah palin voice) theeeanks, but no theeanks. I used the PPK recipe for the seitan. But I changed up some very important steps. First I didn’t make the vital wheat gluten, i just went and bought it in a bag. Second, I didn’t boil it, i baked it in the broth. That’s a huge difference in texture change. The texture really amazing. Let it cook for an hour or so, at about 300 degrees. When you take it out, cut it into the size you want. Throw it in to a pan, and toss about 3 tbls of olive oil, and add some salt and pepper. The oil will give it a very greasy effect. Of course this isn’t the healthiest sandwich, but its really delicious. I put some vegan mayonnaise on the buns, lettuce, pickles, onions, ketchup, mustard, and some s&p. Put whatever other disgusting things on it you like, I just cover the good stuff.



  1. I would so eat that. I would toss the buns like frisbees and eat the fucking shit out of that. Then I would chase down the buns and eat them. Then I would fall into a gluten coma until Monday.

    I love food porn.

  2. Found you on VeggieBoards. You said something about Vegan Beefy Queso and I was like, “Link me Dude!” and then you did, almost as though you were reading my veggie-lovin’ mind. It was awesome.

    Anyway I dig your blog and promise to read it and post comments frequently.

    Have a good one!

  3. make this for me soon. thank you.

  4. Damn that looks good!

  5. While I do agree with the annoying vegans and their vocal fears of fake meat, I also think it’s a little weird that your penis looks like corn on the cob…. just kidding.

    Burger looks good. I will have to make it now to balance potentially having offended you.

    • offended me? trust me girls have called my penis worst things than a corn on the cob.

  6. When you say you baked it in the broth, you mean in a crock pot with a lid on? Or just open?

    I need more data for my seitan experiments… 🙂

  7. no, i baked it in the oven @ 325 for about an hour, in the broth. you will notice a completely different texture from baking it, rather than boiling it. i think the nutritional yeast and the tomato paste work well to make it into a more burger like. i suppose a crock pot would work fine, but it expands a lot, so i think it would be best in a big casserole dish in the oven. if the top is not covered all the way in broth, make sure and flip it, it will dry out.

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