Black Bean & Garlic Stir Fry w/ Edamame Dip *Day 4*

Total cost about $15

Yo yo, it’s day 4, get your ass on the floor, and…..dry hump…the girl next to you…Sorry, my freestyles these days are a bit exhausted.  Were completely snowed in, power is out in 200,000 houses, we’ve got guests sleeping over, and thank Jesus we still have power.  We decided to make stir-fry tonight, with some mock duck I got for Christmas from my mom.  We laid out a bunch of vegetables, and sauces, noodles, and rice.  Sarah took everyone’s orders like we were in a restaurant.  It was quite endearing.  (quick side note, today’s picture for the vegan amateur porn is the best one I’ve found.  Check out the dudes faces, they look like they all work the prize counter at a 1986 roller rink.)  All together we had :

• tomatoes
• chives
• red onions
• shitake, portabella, cremini mushroom
• red and green peppers
• green & yellow beans
• broccoli
• garlic
• ginger
• black bean sauce
• chili garlic sauce
• soy sauce
• mock duck & tofu marinated in soy sauce/alegro/ginger/Cayenne pepper/and some water
• sesame and canola oil

Everything was tossed in a Wok, and cooked together with sesame and canola oil.  I used extra black bean sauce, and boiled the mock duck first to get the canned taste out of it.  The tofu and mock duck was pan seared first.  This stir-fry was so good, I wouldn’t even wear a condom with it.  The entire apartment was filled with an amazing smell, and life tonight was good.

The edamame dip was very much like hummus.  I took the recipe from food networks website. We then dipped carrots in it all night, singing “Kentucky rose” by Michael W. Smith.

Total cost about $5

• 12 ounces shelled, cooked, and cooled edamame, about 2 cups, recipe follows
• 1/4 cup diced onion
• 1/2 cup tightly packed fresh cilantro or parsley leaves
• 1 large garlic clove, sliced
• 1/4 cup freshly squeezed lime or lemon juice
• 1 tablespoon brown miso
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 teaspoon red chili paste
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 5 tablespoons olive oil

Place everything in your food processor, and blend until smooth.  Garnish with smoked paprika and cilantro.

Curry Sweet Potato Fries w/ Spicy Mango Chutney Ranch

I’ve never made sweet potato fries, and I love curry. I had been reading that the sweet potato fries turned out mushy, so I decided to go with the baking at 450 degree method. I boiled the potatoes first, then cut them into fries. Toss them in curry and cornstarch, salt, sprinkle some smoked paprika, and throw them in the oven. Make sure to lay foil on the pan, and spray it good with some pam, or they will stick bad. I baked them for a while, and turned them about every 10 minutes. While they were baking, I put some earth balance in a pan, melted it down, and added some curry and lime juice. Let that cook on high for minute, then turn it off until the fries are done. For the sauce, I just mixed some vegan ranch with some mango chutney, lime juice and s&p. The fries turned out pretty crispy. I dipped one in the chutney ranch, smacked my girlfriends ass really hard while chewing, and said, oh shiiiit. The ranch really makes this one.

Beefy Quezo!!

Its fall time, and cookouts are about to be over. Im sure the winter will be a lot of fun without cornhole, and pogs. However if you find yourself going to a boring “indoor cookout” this winter, your going to want to have something tasty and hot to bring over. I found this Queso on Vegan explosion, while browsing around google really drunk and hungry. It takes about 15 minutes to make, and is really tasty. My brother and i had an idea to make this a little more interesting, and added some baaaaa ziiiiing!

keep in mind, if your going to a big cook out or something, i would make up a super Tripple Batch!!

2/3 Cup Nutritional Yeast Flakes
1/2 Cup Flour
1/2 teaspoon Paprika
2 teaspoon Salt
2 teaspoon Ground Cumin
Dash Garlic Powder
Dash Chili Powder
2 Cup Water
4 Tablespoons Vegan Margarine
2 10-ounce Can RoTel (drained)
4 teaspoons prepared Yellow Mustard
DIRECTIONS

Combine all dry ingredients (everything from nooch to chili powder) in a pan
Add water to pan, turn on medium heat
Stir constantly and once thickened, remove from heat.
Add in margarine, rotel and mustard. Stir until margarine is melted.
Once margarine has melted, put the pan back on the heat and stir until a bit thicker.
Serve over chips, enchiladas or in a quesadilla with seitan and veggies.

Next :

What i added :

1 Package of Morning star
1/2 a white onion (diced up)
2 tablespoons of minced garlic
1 pkt. Taco seasoning

In a separate pan, toss in the onions and garlic with some olive oil, and cook for about 5 or 6 minutes on medium heat, or until the onions are translucent. Next add the morning star beef, and let that cook until its crispy. Last empty the whole taco seasoning packet and stir until ready, then combine the beefy pan to the queso, and stir.